Without realising it, someone can slip into an extramarital affair. First of all, let me say that no one wants to be involved in an affair intentionally - unless you have little morals or conscience of course.
There are always patterns and signs - the same one over and over again to supposedly show warning signs you're about to be involved. However, these signs are sometimes too easy to be overlooked and therefore many people don't even believe it's there until they're stuck in the emotional rut.
And by the time they know they're in, it is impossible to get out without hurting someone's feeling. So how would you know if you are starting to be engaged in an extramarital affair? Read on.
Most affairs begin when a person starts having some kind of connection with someone else other than their spouse. This can start anywhere: in the office, the regular social group, basically anywhere a person can create a friendship with someone else - whether or not attraction exists at this stage. This is not yet dangerous in any way - conscience and logic are still in place.
When a friendship that has formed moves into a closer friendship that's when the first sign of emotional affair comes to surface. More stories will be shared and before you know it, intimate stories including problems with your spouse will also be included in your conversation topic with your so-called close friend.
Ok stop here for a second and let me stress at this stage, you don't know this close friend as much as you know your spouse. I can guarantee that you haven't seen most of this friend's bad habits and behaviour. You practically know this person based mostly on his/her words rather than action.
At this time your friend may start giving you solutions to your problems, sharing personal opinions - everything that sounds good to your ear and matches with your value.
Without realising it, you soon start a comparison chart in your head comparing your spouse with your friend. Yes and if you haven't realised it you are in a dangerous zone. To some degree you may already be involved in an emotional affair - but of course (I hope) you still have your conscience in place and you haven't crossed the extramarital affair line as yet.
The last stage of this 'dangerous zone' is when you start sharing deep emotional heart-to-heart stuff. This definitely leads to a deeper emotional affair where you start feeling understood, feeling close to the other person. You will feel loved and starting from there, you may start wondering what it would be like to have a spouse just like this friend of yours.
At this stage your conscience is slowly being eaten away by your feeling of 'being loved once again' or 'finding a soul mate a little late'. This, together with the excitement rush will pull you down so quickly into the emotional extramarital affair rip.
Before long you may find yourself in a situation - or you create the situation that makes it so easy for somebody to cross the physical line with a kiss or any other sexual touch. You may even end up in bed with this person - and worse of all, it is not just a one-night-stand as high emotional intimacy is involved.
It's impossible to get out!
Yes now you know extramarital affairs does NOT just naturally happen. It carries many warning signs - but it's up to you to choose to mask those signs with the 'ah he/she is just a friend' statement. There is no such a thing as having no control of the situation from the start. Knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the rut.
Remember though, no matter how much you are armed everyone is vulnerable of falling into this emotional rut. Do not overestimate yourself as even you - yes YOU - are just as vulnerable to this as anyone else. Do not think that 'it will never happen between us' as you don't know what your emotions are capable of.
Make sure you are aware of the boundaries and pay close attention to these signs. - 16035
There are always patterns and signs - the same one over and over again to supposedly show warning signs you're about to be involved. However, these signs are sometimes too easy to be overlooked and therefore many people don't even believe it's there until they're stuck in the emotional rut.
And by the time they know they're in, it is impossible to get out without hurting someone's feeling. So how would you know if you are starting to be engaged in an extramarital affair? Read on.
Most affairs begin when a person starts having some kind of connection with someone else other than their spouse. This can start anywhere: in the office, the regular social group, basically anywhere a person can create a friendship with someone else - whether or not attraction exists at this stage. This is not yet dangerous in any way - conscience and logic are still in place.
When a friendship that has formed moves into a closer friendship that's when the first sign of emotional affair comes to surface. More stories will be shared and before you know it, intimate stories including problems with your spouse will also be included in your conversation topic with your so-called close friend.
Ok stop here for a second and let me stress at this stage, you don't know this close friend as much as you know your spouse. I can guarantee that you haven't seen most of this friend's bad habits and behaviour. You practically know this person based mostly on his/her words rather than action.
At this time your friend may start giving you solutions to your problems, sharing personal opinions - everything that sounds good to your ear and matches with your value.
Without realising it, you soon start a comparison chart in your head comparing your spouse with your friend. Yes and if you haven't realised it you are in a dangerous zone. To some degree you may already be involved in an emotional affair - but of course (I hope) you still have your conscience in place and you haven't crossed the extramarital affair line as yet.
The last stage of this 'dangerous zone' is when you start sharing deep emotional heart-to-heart stuff. This definitely leads to a deeper emotional affair where you start feeling understood, feeling close to the other person. You will feel loved and starting from there, you may start wondering what it would be like to have a spouse just like this friend of yours.
At this stage your conscience is slowly being eaten away by your feeling of 'being loved once again' or 'finding a soul mate a little late'. This, together with the excitement rush will pull you down so quickly into the emotional extramarital affair rip.
Before long you may find yourself in a situation - or you create the situation that makes it so easy for somebody to cross the physical line with a kiss or any other sexual touch. You may even end up in bed with this person - and worse of all, it is not just a one-night-stand as high emotional intimacy is involved.
It's impossible to get out!
Yes now you know extramarital affairs does NOT just naturally happen. It carries many warning signs - but it's up to you to choose to mask those signs with the 'ah he/she is just a friend' statement. There is no such a thing as having no control of the situation from the start. Knowing these signs will arm you with logic to stop you from getting too deep into the rut.
Remember though, no matter how much you are armed everyone is vulnerable of falling into this emotional rut. Do not overestimate yourself as even you - yes YOU - are just as vulnerable to this as anyone else. Do not think that 'it will never happen between us' as you don't know what your emotions are capable of.
Make sure you are aware of the boundaries and pay close attention to these signs. - 16035
About the Author:
Sally Webb is the Founder of Cheating-Spouse-Alert.com. Visit her site for more advice about of infidelity and affairs from warning signs of cheating spouse to steps of finding out. Also, See the article: Extramarital Affair: should I confess to my spouse.
