Some motivation. You are a single parent and you doubt that you need another love in your life aside from the one which you already have: love of your children. Really, why you should make your life more complicated, is not this already the case? Every single mom or dad may have such thoughts once in a while, but here is an answer to it. People in love look better, because they feel happier and, as a result they live longer, so they can give more love to those whom they love. Or, in other terms, the very existence in this world requires a balance: if your love to your children is not balanced by your own love life, then how good is your love to your children in the first place? They sure love you, so they want you to be happy, but are you happy while you are alone? Bottom line: as a single parent you may need strong motivation for dating again, so this way (or another) you have to work it out for yourself first.
Be ready. Hope you agree with all stated above, maybe you have even better reasons for looking for love again (although I think desire of being happy is good enough). How well prepared are you? Here are some simple checks. First, you shall have no bad feelings about your former spouse/lover. If there are any, you have to free yourself completely from those feelings: the least thing you need is to let anything from your past to sneak into your new relationship. Second, do you love yourself? If not, you have to fix this attitude first. Your self-negation will make harder for another person to love you, because love is always sharing, you dont want him (or her) to share this with you. Finally, you may feel that a century passed since you loved someone, how can you get back to this state? Probably, the best (and maybe completely new for you) approach will be an online dating. This is where you can totally control the pace of the process and immerse yourself gradually into this hot tub of new/old feelings.
Short on budget? Perhaps, you are concerned with your budget: dont be: this should not be a problem. With online dating you will save tenfold just by logistics of the process. Online you will be making your choice out of hundreds of potential candidates using your home computer: think how much you will save on gas, entrance fees to clubs and bars, restaurant checks etc. and all wrong people which you will avoid at once just by making all your preliminary search for a date online. Dont try to get cheap, though: online dating is much more fun and efficiency when you are subscribing it for a fee, free membership is just a lure, it is always flawed with a lot of limiting conditions, so you better value yourself: pay the fee and get full service. There are specialized online dating clubs for single parents, and this will be your best choice for a start of internet dating campaign.
Your children and you. Yes, what about them: do you have to keep your dating secret from them? No, you better tell your kids from the start that you are looking for a date. You have to be exemplary for them, even in this business of grownups. Keep them posted about your meetings: where you are going and what to do in case if you will be late. Be prepared that at some occasions your children may even attempt to control your dating life. Do not let them to prevent your dates, they might be driven by a simple jealousy, but this will pass. Do not let them tell you whom you should meet and whom you should not: this is your life and decisions are yours.
About your new friend and your children. Your dating eventually will bring you a stable relationship. So time will come to introduce your new friend to your children. You have to avoid any surprises, prepare them for that first, tell them about him or her. The first meeting must be short. An incidental encounter at cinema (or any other place which your kids love to go to) would be a good idea. Next time you can make it a little longer. Getting used to each other takes time, so pushing any side toward the other is a bad idea: everything must come in natural way. You have to be patient, and you have to make your kids understand that there is nothing there that will change your love, care and devotion to them. You have to be open and sincere with your kids and after first meetings ask their opinion about your new friend.
You and your new friend children. Before meeting with the children of your new friend, you have to know about them as much as you can (or, at least, something). Set the first meeting on the neutral grounds, i.e. not in their home, so they will not feel threatened as if you are trying to take their living space from them. Absolutely abstain from saying or showing anything negative about their other parent. Be natural, do not deem this meeting as a vital event of your life (even if this is the case). Bring some presents (nothing too cheap, nothing too expensive), it is always good to ask your friend what will be a good thing to bring to the kids. You have to be friendly, even if the child is cold with you, because you are the one who is a grownup. And be yourself, because children will feel any pretence a mile away. With all that handled in a thoughtful and leveled manner you will succeed.
Thats it! Oops, I almost forgot one more thing. Do not rush into getting married again, just give it some time, and good luck! - 16035
Be ready. Hope you agree with all stated above, maybe you have even better reasons for looking for love again (although I think desire of being happy is good enough). How well prepared are you? Here are some simple checks. First, you shall have no bad feelings about your former spouse/lover. If there are any, you have to free yourself completely from those feelings: the least thing you need is to let anything from your past to sneak into your new relationship. Second, do you love yourself? If not, you have to fix this attitude first. Your self-negation will make harder for another person to love you, because love is always sharing, you dont want him (or her) to share this with you. Finally, you may feel that a century passed since you loved someone, how can you get back to this state? Probably, the best (and maybe completely new for you) approach will be an online dating. This is where you can totally control the pace of the process and immerse yourself gradually into this hot tub of new/old feelings.
Short on budget? Perhaps, you are concerned with your budget: dont be: this should not be a problem. With online dating you will save tenfold just by logistics of the process. Online you will be making your choice out of hundreds of potential candidates using your home computer: think how much you will save on gas, entrance fees to clubs and bars, restaurant checks etc. and all wrong people which you will avoid at once just by making all your preliminary search for a date online. Dont try to get cheap, though: online dating is much more fun and efficiency when you are subscribing it for a fee, free membership is just a lure, it is always flawed with a lot of limiting conditions, so you better value yourself: pay the fee and get full service. There are specialized online dating clubs for single parents, and this will be your best choice for a start of internet dating campaign.
Your children and you. Yes, what about them: do you have to keep your dating secret from them? No, you better tell your kids from the start that you are looking for a date. You have to be exemplary for them, even in this business of grownups. Keep them posted about your meetings: where you are going and what to do in case if you will be late. Be prepared that at some occasions your children may even attempt to control your dating life. Do not let them to prevent your dates, they might be driven by a simple jealousy, but this will pass. Do not let them tell you whom you should meet and whom you should not: this is your life and decisions are yours.
About your new friend and your children. Your dating eventually will bring you a stable relationship. So time will come to introduce your new friend to your children. You have to avoid any surprises, prepare them for that first, tell them about him or her. The first meeting must be short. An incidental encounter at cinema (or any other place which your kids love to go to) would be a good idea. Next time you can make it a little longer. Getting used to each other takes time, so pushing any side toward the other is a bad idea: everything must come in natural way. You have to be patient, and you have to make your kids understand that there is nothing there that will change your love, care and devotion to them. You have to be open and sincere with your kids and after first meetings ask their opinion about your new friend.
You and your new friend children. Before meeting with the children of your new friend, you have to know about them as much as you can (or, at least, something). Set the first meeting on the neutral grounds, i.e. not in their home, so they will not feel threatened as if you are trying to take their living space from them. Absolutely abstain from saying or showing anything negative about their other parent. Be natural, do not deem this meeting as a vital event of your life (even if this is the case). Bring some presents (nothing too cheap, nothing too expensive), it is always good to ask your friend what will be a good thing to bring to the kids. You have to be friendly, even if the child is cold with you, because you are the one who is a grownup. And be yourself, because children will feel any pretence a mile away. With all that handled in a thoughtful and leveled manner you will succeed.
Thats it! Oops, I almost forgot one more thing. Do not rush into getting married again, just give it some time, and good luck! - 16035
About the Author:
Des has one Ph.D. and one M.S., which are irrelevant to the major subject of his writing: relationships, personals and dating. To contact Des, see his other articles and access library of ebooks and other materials on online dating, finding your love online, writing personal profiles, meeting single people and keeping strong relationships, or for single parents web dating networks, visit Orbiana Web Dating Depot .
